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Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

Henry Cloud

A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word ‘no.’ Love respects ‘no,’ control does not.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Goodness Person Reaction Relationship Respond Test
In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school.
HENRY CLOUD

Company Essence Leadership Reality School Way
A person who hasn’t grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.
HENRY CLOUD

Business Grief Person Result
Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children’s most primitive fears.
HENRY CLOUD

Children Fear Leave Pride Reaction Yourself
Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
HENRY CLOUD

Issues Person Problem Relationship Soft
Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do.
HENRY CLOUD

Attempt Growth Yourself
I’m not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.
HENRY CLOUD

Active Culture Group Immunity Infection System
The business of church is ultimately people. You’re trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Christianity is not about morality. It’s about reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Morals Reality Religious
Whatever’s happening today, remember it is only ONE SCENE in a long movie. Don’t treat it like it’s the whole story. Keep writing the story.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dating is primarily a numbers game. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.
HENRY CLOUD

Date People Relationship Way
The physicality of a real relationship – one that encompasses mind, body and soul – ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.
HENRY CLOUD

Fulfill Power Reality Relationship Virtual
If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
HENRY CLOUD

Follow Narcissism People Togetherness Trust
You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.
HENRY CLOUD

Face Freedom Lose Order Right
Being right can never compete with doing well.
HENRY CLOUD

Complete Right
We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we’re going to need the next day.
HENRY CLOUD

Better Creation Day Feeling Need
Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
HENRY CLOUD

Boundary Essential Structure Thrive
If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.
HENRY CLOUD

Community Group Health People Surround Yourself
Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
HENRY CLOUD

Attitude Build Communication Culture Expectation Honesty Performance
We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.
HENRY CLOUD

Ourselves Talk Thinking
The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.
HENRY CLOUD

Criticism Issues People Relationship Sound

Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

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Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

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