A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENChange is not progress.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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No one in this world, so far as I know – and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me – has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
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Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
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It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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Change is not progress.
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
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The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one’s time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.
H. L. MENCKEN