My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
FRANK ZAPPAIf you pick up a guitar and it says, ‘take me, I’m yours,’ then that’s the one for you.
More Frank Zappa Quotes
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Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.
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If you pick up a guitar and it says, ‘take me, I’m yours,’ then that’s the one for you.
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Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.
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The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it’s going to bother you and then, the worse things get.
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Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
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If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.
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To me absurdity is the only reality.
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I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
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I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.
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There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it’s going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
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A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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Drugs will turn you into your parents.
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Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
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If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.
FRANK ZAPPA