Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZVerbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ