There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZRomantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ