All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZRomantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nothing succeeds like address.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ