Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZRomantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






