I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZI must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZDo not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZNothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZHaving been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZVerbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZWhen you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZOriginal thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZNever relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZContrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
FRAN LEBOWITZSuccess didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZI’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZI place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
FRAN LEBOWITZStand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ