Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZRomantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






