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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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