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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Erma Bombeck

Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Deep Emotion Funny Hard Love Pride Quiet Reality Yourself
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Appearance
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fate Food Myself Night Oneself Thinking Woman
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK

Civilization Humor Loss
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK

Beginning Different Husband Vacation Wife
Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Cat Invention Worth
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Preparation Thankful Time
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK

End God Hope Inspirational Life Motivational Myself Success Talent
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECK

Humor Planning Surprise Wonderful
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Death Funny Motivation Sleep Women
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECK

Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clean Experience Food Funny God Oneself Religious

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

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