I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECKDid you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECK