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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Erma Bombeck

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Run Time Young
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Death Funny Motivation Sleep Women
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Dream Kindness Yourself
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Evening Failure Feeling Goodness Misery Sun
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Gift Hide Price Women
Success is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECK

Failure Growth Inspirational Live One Liner Success
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Fun Herself Mom Relationship Yourself
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Pieces Travel Yourself
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Move Theory Yourself
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

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