He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKThe grass is always greener over the septic tank.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
ERMA BOMBECK







