Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKThe grass is always greener over the septic tank.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK