Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECKThe grass is always greener over the septic tank.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK