Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECKKids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Children make your life important.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECK







