When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECKKids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK