One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECKKids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK