I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECKHumor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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