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Erma Bombeck Quote - When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

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Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety

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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
He who laughs lasts.
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Funny Happiness Inspirational One Liner
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Exploration Food Funny Humor Myself
Every puppy should have a boy.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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