Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Children make your life important.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECK







