I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK