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Erma Bombeck Quote - When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.

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Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety

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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Run Time Young
Children make your life important.
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Children Important Literature One Liner Worth
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Food Preparation Thankful Time
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK

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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Children Funny Yourself
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK

End God Hope Inspirational Life Motivational Myself Success Talent
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Kill Work Yourself
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Clean Funny Home Mom
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK

Determination Difference Fame Greatness Success
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Body Born Children Deep Mom Pregnant
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering

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