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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

Erma Bombeck

When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK

Civilization Humor Loss
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

Chance God Growth Life Magic Moments Myself Pregnant
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK

Inspirational Laughter Yourself
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Dream Kindness Yourself
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Encouragement Independence Lose
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Courage Funny Inspirational Moments Parents White
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK

Act Children Forgiveness Love
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
ERMA BOMBECK

Direction Food Funny Kitchen Reading Yourself
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Pieces Travel Yourself
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Evening Failure Feeling Goodness Misery Sun
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Doctor Funny Humor Inspirational Plant
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK

Kindess Night Oneself Parents Price

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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