Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECKAll of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Success is outliving your failures.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK







