He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK