My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECKWhen you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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He who laughs lasts.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK







