A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECKThere is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK