The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECKThere is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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He who laughs lasts.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK