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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

Erma Bombeck

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Boy Company Dog Friendship
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK

Doctor Funny Humor People Survive Money
I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECK

Exploration Food Funny Humor Myself
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Run Time Young
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECK

Discover Myself Science Worry
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECK

Husband Marriage Myself Vacation. Children
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself

When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

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