If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKERI know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER -
By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER