black
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.

Dorothy Parker

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER

Quiet Storm
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Friendship Girl Herself
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER

Future Love Past Seek Sorrow
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER

Company Myself Talk Yourself
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER

Cheating Hollywood Reality
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Funny Life Myself Oneself Sex Story
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER

Herself Leadership Thinking Yourself

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.

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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.

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Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes