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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

Dorothy Parker

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Life Study Theft Yourself
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Around Charm Done Stop
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Love Myself Writing
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beautiful Clean Deep Order Skin Ugly
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Girl Man Wear

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

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Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes