[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKERGenius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER -
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER -
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER