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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Dorothy Parker

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appreciate Audience Goodness Intelligence Myself Praise Talk
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER

Entertainment Fun Goodness Myself
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bed Himself Voice
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Around Charm Done Stop
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Myself Word Writing
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Lying Marriage Passion Promise Time Yourself
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Love Myself Writing
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Professional Way Writing
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER

Cheating Hollywood Reality
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

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More Dorothy Parker Quotes