The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERIf I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER