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When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.

Brendan Behan

I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Accepting Country Irish Limitation People
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company’s time and with its blessing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Blessing Husband Marriage
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Funny Irish People Spiritual
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Addiction Country Enough Irish People
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Family Forgive Men Mother
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
I’m a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Catholic Communist Dark
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing

When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.

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When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Brendan Behan Quotes