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If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.

Brendan Behan

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Addiction Country Enough Irish People
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Born Country Irish People Years
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
BRENDAN BEHAN

People Talking Way
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World

If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.

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If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.

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