The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGETThat was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET -
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET -
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET -
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET -
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET -
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET -
All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
BOB SAGET -
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET -
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET