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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

Bob Saget

My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.
BOB SAGET

Cry Favorite Song Thinking
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET

Change Something Things Wake
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGET

Affection Emotion Love Mom
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET

Dad Dollar Funny Mom Sex
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET

Beautiful Nice Reckless
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET

House Waiting Yesterday
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET

Children Secret Way
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People

What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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