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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

Bob Saget

Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET

Day Good Reading Sunday
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck
I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGET

Dressing Missing Salad Sauce
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET

Biker Club Kids School
I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
BOB SAGET

Penguins People Want
What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Levels People
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGET

Gossip People Rumor
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET

Make People Think Thinking
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGET

Choices Done Procrastination
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET

Good Naked Together Way
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers

What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.

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Popular Authors

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