A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGETBehind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET






