I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGETIt’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET -
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET -
It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGET -
I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET