I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGETI become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGETMet a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGETMy mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGETIf I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGETI wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGETI was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGETThe squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGETAnd turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
BOB SAGETSundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGETFriend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGETIt’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGETPeople do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
BOB SAGETMost people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGETI have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGETPaul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGETThe secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET