My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGETMy father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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I love my mom! You can too for $12!
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET