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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.

Bob Saget

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  Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.

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• 

  When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.

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  I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.

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  Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

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  Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.

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  A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.

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  Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

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• 

  I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.

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  If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

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  Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.

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  If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

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• 

  I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

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  It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

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  I have no agenda, nothing to control.

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  I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.

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  I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.

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