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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Bob Hope

I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

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Popular Authors

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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