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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Facts People
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
BO BURNHAM

Like Parent Something Sometimes Watch
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM

Creative Funny Humor Life
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
BO BURNHAM

Jesus Land Water
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
BO BURNHAM

Answers Ideas People
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAM

About Love Whistle
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
BO BURNHAM

Beautiful Distance Funny
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM

Comedians Men Say Anything
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
BO BURNHAM

Art Aware Comedy Self Song

Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

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Popular Authors

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