I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAMI’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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