They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
BO BURNHAMI met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAM