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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bo Burnham

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
BO BURNHAM

Blue Country Moon People
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
BO BURNHAM

Broke Celebrate Happy Thanksgiving
They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
BO BURNHAM

Fame Idea Mind Special
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
BO BURNHAM

People Thinking Worry
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Feelings Thinking Time Years
Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM

Anything Book Good Pussy
If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
BO BURNHAM

Beliefs Hateful People
There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
BO BURNHAM

Certain Joke Lines Mind Poetry
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time

The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes