Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTALAt some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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Change is such hard work.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTAL