Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTALWomen need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTALBy the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
BILLY CRYSTALGood news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
BILLY CRYSTALI’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTALAt 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTALDid you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTALI had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
BILLY CRYSTALI’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTALChange is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTALI’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
BILLY CRYSTALEven when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTALWhen we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
BILLY CRYSTALThe inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTALThe Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
BILLY CRYSTALYou give up your dream, you give up.
BILLY CRYSTALThat’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
BILLY CRYSTAL