I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTALI love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
BILLY CRYSTAL