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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

Billy Crystal

When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Art Comedy Way
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Inspirational Life Wise
Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Golden Problem World
I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Baseball Country
There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Big Clothes Difference Mostly
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Kids Play
Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Change Inspirational Work
A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Couple Laughing People
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
BILLY CRYSTAL

Financial Funny Money
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Book Improvising Play School
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ghouls Saws Sids
I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feet Thinking
That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Host Mentality Situations Thinking
I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Goes Laughing On
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Acting Comedy Truthful

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

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Popular Authors

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