Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTALWell, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL