There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
BILLY CRYSTALAt 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTAL







