Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTALI have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
BILLY CRYSTAL