I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever trust people who’ve only got one book.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
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When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
BILLY CONNOLLY