Don’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever trust people who’ve only got one book.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY