Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever trust people who’ve only got one book.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
-
-
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I don’t aim to offend.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If you give people a chance, they shine.
BILLY CONNOLLY







