Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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