I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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