Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLY







