black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.

Billy Connolly

I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dog Doors Independent Stuff
When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Accident Alright Funny Humor Thanks
Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Disease Media Negativity
I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Fog Singer Voice
Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Answers Guy Mountain
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Lone Music Witty
I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Angel Atheist Believe God People
I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Friendship Glasgow Hands Suits
I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Big Fan Fans Home Rottweilers
Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Constitution Happiness Revolution Unique Written
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Acting Consuming Drawing Stuff
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Arses Channel People Rooms Search
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Hands Issues People Pound
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Sexy
A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Balanced Drink Hands Wells
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
BILLY CONNOLLY

Chocolate Fall Pocket

When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Connolly Quotes