Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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Try to live in a place you like.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLY