I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYI don’t aim to offend.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
BILLY CONNOLLY







