When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
BILLY CONNOLLYI think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
BILLY CONNOLLY