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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

Billy Connolly

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Someone Waitin Witty
There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Anything Comment Figure Matrimony
As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Reserves Successful
I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Drinking Ideas Stills Stop
Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Like Place Trying
I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Believe Jesus Teacher
I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Brought Catholic Guilt Level
I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Coast Country Family Heart West
The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Music Optimism People Wanter
When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Look People Place
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Advice Buckets Kitchen Utensils
I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Firsts Guy Minute Movie Stars
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Football Someone Team
I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Desperate People Themselves Thinking
If you give people a chance, they shine.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Giving People Shining
I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Fog Singer Voice

I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

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