A fart is just your arse applauding.
BILLY CONNOLLYI think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLY