A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever run with scissors or other pointy objects.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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