I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
-
-
Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY