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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

Billy Connolly

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Between People Body Country Crosses Malfunction
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Become Changing Clothes Life Successful
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Buckets Lose Utensils Weight
I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Clubs Comedy Comics Done Eight Weird
A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
BILLY CONNOLLY

Brother Funny Girlfriend Mine
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Mother
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Arses Channel People Rooms Search
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Acting Consuming Drawing Stuff
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Morning Snowplough
I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Art Doodle People Speak Two
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Needs People Toilet
If you give people a chance, they shine.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Giving People Shining
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Offending People Religious
I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Huge Love Simply Thinking You
There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Anything Comment Figure Matrimony
Don’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLY

never Out Work

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Connolly Quotes