Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLYI loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
BILLY CONNOLLY